9.23.15 Dating resolved

Quite a day.

This whole dating thing has been quite an issue. Master resolved it today.

Have to explain this first though. i've been extremely stressed out over this dating thing and my best friend helped me understand why last night. First i think she was a bit taken back that i hadn't shared with her that i had gone out. She had every right to be hurt. She is my best friend for a reason and i should have shared with her what was going on in my life. i was mistaken, won't happen again, but let me explain why.

i felt ashamed. i felt like i was failing Master so i was keeping what i was doing a secret (no, not from Him, but from everyone else).

i need to be around people. So when Master told me that i could not date it was a true struggle for me. One because (i won't use hands today), i enjoy company, and two it was something He wanted. i will always obey because He knows what is best for me, but it was very hard. One of the hardest things i've ever done. He knew that i needed time to be alone before i went out again. He wanted me to become a stronger person. Say no when i need to. Although we might still have to work on that???? Yikes.

Back to the story. So last night my best friend told me that i want to go out NOT to replace Master, but just for company. SO TRUE! It was the perfect explanation of the conflict that was going on in my head. i didn't want Master to think that i was looking for a replacement. i'm not. i NEED HIM. i am nothing without Him. Really nothing.

So today Master explained that for me needing company is like breathing and eating. He's right. i do need people around me. i am very much a people person. He will allow me to "date". The physical aspect of dating will be discussed. i'm assuming what He will allow and what He won't of course. And that is completely fine with me. At first i was a little hurt that He was going to allow me to go out with other men, but then He further explained that He understands that it is something that i need. He says its natural for people to be around others and it's healthy mentally. Some days i just want to be saved for Him, but other days i really do need a bit of physical contact. We all know in reality its just Him that i really want. i guess in these LDR's we all do what we think our Masters know best.

So it's been resolved for now and we will take each person as they come.

I also want to mention this......

i read a really good article on Fet today. It fit into what has been going on in my mind lately with all this stuff. Someone had said that you don't have to be a submissive to everyone, we are not doormats. The only person who have to submit too is your Master..........and He is the only will i will ever submit to. i'm just His.